The framework at a glance
A note on the order. The six disciplines are arranged emphatically, not chronologically. Presence comes first because pulling up begins with showing up — the foundational instinct of the entire movement. Prayer comes last because prayer is what carries the work the longest: past the conversation, past the campaign, past the years where no fruit is visible. The order is not a sequence to walk through; it is a circle to live in. You will return to every letter every week. The four PULL disciplines (this chapter) you practice continuously. The two UP moves (Chapter 7) sustain the work.
P — Presence
Presence means you actually go. You do not pray from a distance, post about a distance, or send a sympathy card across a distance. You close the distance. You put your body in the same room as theirs.
This is the most underdeveloped discipline in modern American Christianity. We have replaced presence with notification. We have replaced visitation with text strings. We have made it possible to feel ministerially active without ever sharing a physical room with another human being. The Pull Up Movement is a war against that drift.
How to practice Presence this week:
- Pull up to one hospital room, jail visit, recovery meeting, or family crisis you would normally avoid because "they have other people there."
- Pull up to one neighbor's house unannounced, with a small offering — a pie, a card, a pot of greens. Sit for 20 minutes.
- Pull up to one work or school event of someone in your oikos — a graduation, a recital, a game, a launch.
- Pull up to one estranged family member you have been meaning to call for over six months.
U — Understanding
Understanding means you do the homework on the people in your oikos. You learn their world before you offer your worldview. You earn the right to speak by demonstrating that you know who you are speaking to.
Most evangelism fails not at the moment of invitation but at the moment of misdiagnosis. The believer offers an answer to a question the unbeliever was not asking. The Pull Up Movement teaches you to ask better questions and to listen for the actual question underneath the surface question.
Three questions that build Understanding:
- "What's been the hardest thing you've had to carry this year?"
- "If God were real and listening right now, what would you most want to ask Him?"
- "Tell me about the most influential spiritual experience — good or bad — you've ever had."
These three questions, used over the course of months, will tell you more about a person's spiritual condition than any tract ever printed. Ask. Then shut up. Then ask follow-ups.
L — Listening
There is a difference between hearing someone talk and listening to someone speak. Hearing is automatic. Listening is a discipline. James 1:19 is the entire training manual: be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.
Mike Bechtle, in Evangelism for the Rest of Us, makes a strong case that introverts are often the most effective evangelists precisely because they listen better. The extrovert's instinct is to fill the silence. The introvert's instinct is to let it sit. People — especially wounded, unchurched people — fill silence with truth. Chapter 9 will go deep into the introvert's specific path through Pull Up; for now, simply note: listening is not optional.
The four levels of listening:
| Level | Description | What it produces |
|---|---|---|
| Level 1: Wait to talk | You are silently rehearsing your next sentence. | Frustration. They feel unheard. |
| Level 2: Hear the words | You actually register what is being said. | Polite conversation. Surface trust. |
| Level 3: Hear the meaning | You ask follow-up questions. You repeat back. You name the emotion. | Real connection. They open up. |
| Level 4: Hear the soul | You catch what they are not saying. You name the spiritual undercurrent. | Conversion-level conversation. |
Most Christians evangelize at Level 1 or Level 2 and wonder why nothing happens. The Pull Up Movement trains you toward Level 3 and Level 4 listening as a daily habit, not a special occasion.
L — Love
Love, in the Pull Up Movement, is defined narrowly: love is willing the good of the other, with no agenda for the relationship beyond their flourishing. If you can only love someone IF they convert, IF they come to your church, IF they say the prayer, you do not love them. You are using them. They will smell it from across the room.
Read that again. The single fastest way to kill an evangelistic relationship is to love conditionally. The single fastest way to grow one is to love unconditionally — and let conversion be God's job, not your scoreboard.
"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." — 1 Corinthians 13:2
How to test the love behind your Pull Up:
- If they never come to my church, will I keep showing up for them? If no, it is not love.
- If they reject the gospel, will I keep loving them? If no, it is not love.
- If they tell me their darkest secret, will I keep treating them the same? If no, it is not love.
- Am I keeping a mental scoreboard of how much I have done for them? If yes, it is not love.
Leader's Note
These four disciplines are non-negotiable for every member, but they are exemplary for every leader. If your members watch their pastor practice presence with the homeless brother on the church steps, listening to the teenager nobody else listens to, and loving the woman the gossips of the church have written off, you will not need to teach this chapter. You will only need to point at it.